Contest! When Will The First DIE-Caused Passenger Airline Crash Happen?

Start with this video, which is of Scott Kirby, the CEO of United Airlines, who emphasizes that DIE will be used to choose UA pilots.

Kirby says that at least 50% of new pilot program classes will be women or “people of color”. Which colors he did not say. He does boast that UA now has 19% of women and these mysterious “people of color”. Which leads us to calculate that 81% are now men or people of no color. Math, if you don’t follow this, and as Barbie said, is hard.

Now I have not seem similarly flavored boasts by the other major carriers, except Delta, only because I haven’t bothered searching, but doubtless they too are obsessed with “people of color”. Perhaps these executives were all deprived of finger paints as children.

Of course, Kirby does have his personal reasons to DIE. Here’s a story, with pictures and videos, which convey the story’s title nicely: “United Airlines CEO is a cross-dressing freak“. (Quick pic link.)

Next up is the FAA and their sworn commitment to DIE. In my favorite story of 2024 so far, we have this important clue to your challenge:

The Federal Aviation Administration is actively recruiting workers who suffer “severe intellectual” disabilities, psychiatric problems and other mental and physical conditions under a diversity and inclusion hiring initiative spelled out on the agency’s website.

“Targeted disabilities are those disabilities that the Federal government, as a matter of policy, has identified for special emphasis in recruitment and hiring,” the FAA’s website states. “They include hearing, vision, missing extremities, partial paralysis, complete paralysis, epilepsy, severe intellectual disability, psychiatric disability and dwarfism.”

The initiative is part of the FAA’s “Diversity and Inclusion” hiring plan, which claims “diversity is integral to achieving FAA’s mission of ensuring safe and efficient travel across our nation and beyond.”

Everything today, as we have discussed many times, is named for its opposite. Therefore, this dedication to hiring an air traffic controller who is a deaf blind one-legged paralytic midget who suffers from epilepsy and a complete lack of spatial awareness will not, as the FAA says, lead to “safe and efficient travel” across, as they say, “our nation and beyond”. Doubtless instead we shall see planes dropping out of the sky like bribes from pharmaceuticals to Congresscreatures.

It was always obvious that DIE would lead to the removal of all standards. As we have predicted long ago, and which we are now seeing everywhere.

Equality is the Great Leveler. No peak can remain. It wouldn’t be “fair”. We choose to DIE and so we must die.

And some of us will die on Diversity Airways.

There have been suspected DIE crashes before, like Atlas Air Flight 3591, as a helpful Twitter user reminded me. Wokepedia tells us that the first-officer-of-color “experienced spatial disorientation and inadvertently placed the aircraft in an unrecoverable dive.” But this was a cargo and not passenger flight, and the dead totaled only three.

We’re after more spectacular numbers, at least a hundred. Which can easily be got with most passenger jets.

Thus our contest. You must predict the date of our first DIE-caused passenger jet crash—in the air or on the runway. The dead must be at least 100.

We measure closeness in days from your guess, before or after. The person with the closet guess wins. The prize is a signed copy of the second edition of Everything Your Believe Is Wrong (which I have purposely delayed because of current events). All guesses must be in before 1 February 2024.

If the person with the closest guess happens to be a passenger on the plane or planes involved in the crash, in addition to the book, a bouquet of roses-of-color will be sent to his relatives. If I am one of the passengers, all you win are bragging rights, I’m afraid, because I won’t be around to do any signing.

What counts as a DIE-caused crash? Well, the obvious. But the obvious, as is obvious itself, will not be announced on the “news.” If the crash is two planes with freshly graduated all-DIE crews, the “news” will doubtless record the event, if it records it at all, as an “incident”. One day you Aunt Jane will say she is flying down to meet you, and the next she disappears. Or the crash will be blamed on the stress caused by the “whiteness” of aviation rules, or some such thing.

Therefore I shall be the only and sole judge of what counts as the DIE crash. In the event of the tie, I will pick whoever I like best. Brides will be accepted.

My own guess is 1 October 2024. Yours?

Please help spread this contest far and, yes, wide, so that we get a good range of guesses.

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