Welcome To Pride In The Ability To Masturbate Into The Rectum Of Another Month

What a strange time we live in. Sodomy has always existed, and it is therefore rational to conclude it will always be with us. Every other culture has looked on the act with anything from amusement to disgust, but we are the first people who insist on celebrating it, like it was some shocking new discovery, one that will lead mankind, and womankind, into a glorious future where no one need work, where there is no want, and where we can spend the day, as the title says, masturbating into the rectums of others.

We have parades for this. (Is the rumor that Depends is sponsoring a float in this year’s parade true?) We take pride in this act. We insist everybody not only say it must be allowed, but we make them swear it is good.

Most of us would rather ignore the whole thing, the anus not being an object of fascination. But this indifference won’t do. Our Experts, elites, and rulers must dress men in strange costumes and have them read books speaking of sodomy’s delights to the kiddies. People who stop this are accused of “book burnings.”

Some of this attitude exists because people believe such creatures as “gays”, “lesbians”, “bisexuals”, “transsexuals”, and other suchlike inventions exist. They do not. How could they?

To say “gays” exist because some men particularly enjoy sodomy with other men is like saying “cheeseburgerites” exist because some men like Whoppers above all other foods. To say “lesbians” exist is like saying “hypertensives” exist as separate kinds of humans, because something has gone wrong with them, like it has with “lesbians” (they won’t reproduce like women). Should we have high blood pressure pride parades? To say “bisexuals” exist is like saying “statisticians” exist, because one’s preferred and enjoyable profession makes one into a separate kind of being.

What’s that? You say it’s only sexual preference that creates different kinds of people, and that other desires, such as taste for violence and foods, do not? Or that degree of brokenness and illness do not count? Or that ability to do and enjoyment of a task, like integrating functions, does not make one a separate kind of creature like we think “gays” are?

Why?

There is never an answer to that question, except for the classic, “Shut up.”

Perhaps you believe genetics plays a role making “gays” (and the others). That doesn’t seem to be true, given identical twins don’t all hold the same sexual preferences. Even if genetics did, it’s not interesting. Genetics might create sociopaths and politicians, too, but because somebody is “born that way” doesn’t mean their preferred behavior is therefore good, mandatory, and worthy of celebration.

Where do we class necrophiliacs (there is, indeed, growing interest: I do not jest)? Zoophiles (let’s hope none are veterinarians)? Pedophiles (drag time story hour come alive)? Ecosexuals (people, I swear to you, who enjoy masturbating into dirt and holes in trees)? Are all these folks “born that way”, and therefore their acts are good and to be celebrated? If not, why not? What differentiates them from the more usual abnormalities? These questions have been asked many times. Answers come there none.

Experts say they have developed sophisticated questionnaires to discern who is “gay” and whatnot. Philosophically, these are all of the form “If you really like sodomy, check this box.” This should be obvious, because you can’t fit a person into a box unless you first think the boxes exists. Which they do not: these boxes are bad science. They assume what they want to prove.

Some think viruses infect some men, and turn their natural desire for women into an unnatural desire for other men. I don’t believe it, but suppose it’s true. Other infections make men into covidians. Or smallpoxers. Or any of every other disease spread by bugs (and do not ask me about bug-hunting). We don’t think those other vectors create different kinds of men, as we do for “gays”. What viruses are then responsible for “lesbians”, “non-binaries”, “transsexuals”, and the burgeoning multitude of other “orientations”?

One for each? The same for all? How do they work and keep their differentiation? At least the disease theory of sexual deviancy—deviating from normal reproductive activities, that is—acknowledges something has gone wrong with the body. And gives us the happy suggestion that cures might be found!

Would it do any good to point out the terms homosexual and heterosexual were invented a century ago, both to describe kinds of unhealthy sexual behavior? No, probably not. How about the idea that if you let people define themselves by their sexual desires, then we must not only have “gays”, but we much accept everything?

For it is true: sexual desire is infinitely variable. Therefore, every different kind of desire creates a new kind of being. Biology no longer plays a role. There are not men and women, but a blizzard of sub-sexes constantly coming into being. (The people saying this curiously also think the idea of race is false.)

This creation of new kinds of beings is not fixed. For today you might have one desire, and tomorrow another. The act of desire, your very will, like with God himself, brings this new creation into existence, each time. Genuine miracles.

Which then means we should take pride in Experts who are drugging children with falsely labeled “puberty-blockers” (none exist), and is it right that surgeons slice the tits off of young girls (do they take the excised parts home and use them in strange rituals?). Because sometimes miracles need help. Desire is not enough, and surgical cosmetic alteration helps fill in the areas where imagination fails.

On the other hand, maybe I’m right and only men and women exist, which means that creating a label for behavior doesn’t make that behavior worthy of taking pride in.

“Briggs, you’re being judgmental.”

Are you judging me?

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