One of my favorite comedic lunatic gibbering fear drippers during the covid panic, and maybe one of yours, too, was Eric Fing-Ding. He used any excuse to say THIS MAY BE THE END. If he walked outside and saw his shadow he was sure it could be tied into how covid might finally—this time!—mutate into its deadliest form and kill us all.
Might, could, and maybe were his, and a legion of other fear fools, favorite words.
One worried about poor Fing-Ding’s sanity. Not during the covid panic, because his girlish hersterical squeals made him quite a large following. He was a celebrity, and doing fine selling morbid apprehension. I mean after. Once the covid panic ended (for most of us), I was concerned how he would handle the loss of his profession. Would he adjust? Would he flounder? Would he sink into the dark oblivion of despair and depression?
Never fret—I bring you good news! Not only has Fing-Ding come through the loss of covid fear mongering unscathed, he has already emerged as a clear front runner in the brand new BIRD FLU PANIC.
Last week he was already showing top form when he tweeted, “This isn’t mentioned much — but human eyes have the same type of receptors that make eyes susceptible to avian flu that birds have. This is why infection conjunctivitis is a concern too, regardless of any new avian flu mutation.”
Brilliant!
Masks can’t stop bird flu, you see. Because you see. Best thing you can do to avoid dying in agony from BIRD FLU is close your eyes! DO NOT OPEN YOUR EYES. SEEING IS DEATH.
Take note. This is how true innovators work. Fing-Ding could have, like some by now surely did, pushed masks to stop the bird flu horror. But people, except effeminates and woke white women, are tired of masks. Pushing masks again so soon after the last time would win few nervous minds into the new panic, and it would leave many blase. He had to pick something new, or relatively new. And did.
Fing-Ding innovated. He made eyes the vector of infection. So much for your masks! Now you will need specially designed CDC-approved NPC-8000™ Bird Flu Googles! Listen to NPR for reports on their effectiveness.
While Fing-Ding is right out in front, we must admit that he has stiff competition.
Like Suresh Kuchipudi. He said “we are getting dangerously close to this [bird flu, H5N1] virus potentially causing a pandemic”.
We all know how scary pandemics are. Yet not that scary. Not anymore. Just saying “new pandemic” won’t cut it. He had to do better. And did.
“This appears to be 100 times worse than Covid,” he said. “Or it could be if it mutates and maintains its high case fatality rate.”
One hundred times worse than covid. Nice. One hundred is the perfect number. “Ten times” is worrisome, it’s true, but it doesn’t grab the attention. “One thousand times” frizzes the mental faculties, all right, but it’s too big to be believable. One hundred is the perfect balance.
Kuchipudi knows he can rely on WHO to back him up. In that same link we learn that “The World Health Organization estimates the fatality rate for H5N1 at 52 percent”.
An infection fatality rate of 52%! Amazing. Covid didn’t even break 1%, and not even 0.1%. Pathetic, really. But bird flu is right up there with anthrax, ebola, and septicemic plague, all nasty ways to go. An excellent selling point.
Yet bird flu still short of rabies, which kills everything, unless treated almost instantly. Hard to see how they can juice a panic with rabies, though. Because you have to be bit by something already rabid.
Even with stalwart silly soldiers like Fing-Ding and Kuchipudi, it going to be hard to sell this bird flu panic. It’s going to be uphill all the way trying to make it sound horrifying. Everybody likes birds. They’re cute. “Bird flu” just doesn’t sound bad.
We see now where they missed their chance. They could have done rabies, instead. But of a new kind, where the infected person who before death is first driven mad by the bug, and then goes on to bite fresh uninfected victims, who in turn go on to bite more.
That would be scary.
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“Or it could be if it mutates and maintains its high case fatality rate.”
Or if aliens accelerate it by sending highly-trained monkeys door-to-door posing as Jehovah’s Witnesses with specially contaminated editions of “Awake!”
Bird Flu: Elites don't have to sell it, they mean to enforce it.
What is wanted is compliance, which is a mere bow in public.
And they got it before and will get it again.
All they have to do is threaten the material possessions of the Americans, in particular the old.
After that the women.
The Men are slaves to the women, not men at all.
No fight in these people.
The Americans are Slaves, looking for a gentler Master.
That's it.
The one hope for survival is these Masters are Mad and Weak.