Die Sweetly: The Strange Paradoxes Of The Cult Of Safety First!

The Cult of Safety First! has what only appears to be contradictory, paradoxical beliefs. This is important because its members throughout the West have infiltrated all institutions of power, including the government. Members use this access to induce rulers to use violence to ensure the public engages in and avoids behaviors deemed safe or unsafe by the Cult.

The best known examples were when the Cult got rulers to make it illegal to be seen in public without wearing the “Cult’s colors”, i.e. masks, while standing six feet from other human beings and conducting similar Safety First! performances, and when the Cult made it (effectively) illegal to not take the medicine they deemed necessary. The Cult made it so that one had to carry proof of the medicine to buy or to sell.

Here is the first paradox. The Cult embraces threats of violence, and accepts uses of it, knowing (obviously) that violence is not safe. This is resolved when it is realized the dictum of Safety First! applies foremost to Cult members. Outsiders, defined as the recalcitrant public who refuse to be initiated into the Cult, are damned.

And dirty. Outsiders carry disease, real and psychic. It is therefore appropriate to quarantine Outsiders, by force if necessary. Their dirty bodies must be decontaminated; their filthy ideas must be proscribed.

Cult members are afraid. Fear is a necessary requirement to be a member. Yet members swear that membership is protective. Membership should remove or assuage their fear. It does not. Nothing does, or can. This is another paradox. Here is a member, boasting of his five (so far) covid shots, a now-common story, and bragging of his “still wearing a mask,” he says, “so I don’t harm others.” He does not care if he harms others. The mask is for him. It is for his protection, to reduce his fear. Yet he cannot admit his fear, because if he does it acknowledges he has not done enough to protect his safety.

Any threat which might cause a departure from optimal health that members believe cannot be corrected by ingesting certain chemicals, must be neutralized or avoided. What if ill health results, what then? Enter the third paradox.

Ardent Cult members will have themselves killed when they judge their chance of living at suboptimal levels of health is high. They are squeamish, and so require the participation of Death Experts.

The Cult is strong in Canada. They have created there a program which “is now tied with cerebrovascular diseases [e.g. strokes] as the fifth leading cause of death in Canada. Only deaths from cancer, heart disease, COVID-19, and accidents exceed the number of deaths from” Death Experts.

As the Cult gains members, it is likely death by the hand of Death Experts will rise in rank. Indeed, “The percentage of [killing] requests that are denied continues to decline (currently it is 3.5 percent). [Killing] requests can be assessed and provided in a single day.” The average, though, is 11 short days from request to a visit from the Death Expert—followed by the arrival of the undertaker. And that 3.5 percent is likely an underestimate, because some report the cause of the death not the Death Expert’s blade, but the underlying complaint of the Cult member. Perhaps 1 out of every 25 deaths is a better guess.

One wonders whether drive-thru death chambers will exist. Perhaps not, but only because disposing of the driver in the car would be difficult. There are, though, already sci-fi Death Pods.

These exist is several vibrant colors and slick designs, not unlike coffins sometimes seen in futuristic movies (as they are shot out into deep space). I haven’t looked into these deeply, so I don’t know how deaths are caused once the victim seals himself within and presses the KILL ME NOW button (this is not humor). Maybe needles shoot out from the bed, poison gas leaks from hidden tubes, or NPR is piped in until the victim loses the will to live.

My guess is that however death is caused, afterwards, a chemical spray causes the corpse to liquify, so that the contents may be drained the pod reused. Though it’s tempting to suppose the pods are collected and carted off to the Soylent factory.

Causing Death is, of course, the ultimate Unsafe act. But Death Expert-caused deaths are not the same as those caused by disease or injury. Those deaths are for Cultists too horrible to contemplate. You must not doubt the superlative. Death Expert deaths are not to be feared because they are assumed painless. There have been no post-mortem reports from Cult victims, so who knows how much truth there is in this. It doesn’t matter. That they believe it is what does.

It may also seem odd, at first, that Cultists not only seek out a painless existence, but they also seek to prevent other life. Which is to say, other life that would burden them, that would take focus from themselves and their living as pleasurably, painlessly as possible. This is why you see headlines like this, “Free abortions and vasectomies, 18-foot-tall inflatable IUD called ‘Freeda Womb’ to be erected at DNC in Chicago“. The IUD is Thanksgiving-Day float sized. It is right that the display is at a political convention, in which delegates boast of their suicidal desires.

Not their own desire for death, you understand, which will come soon enough. But of everybody else. Thus we have the solution to the paradox. Cultists are not operating irrationally after all. For they know, and it is true, that the ultimate Safety First! condition is one in which no possible danger exists. This can come only when there is no life. There is no chance in which any bad or evil thing can happen to no body.

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